The Christian life is meant to be lived.
The words “extraordinary” and “single” may seem like contradictions. Singleness often feels like this jungle where you lack the stability that you want, and experience frustration at how difficult life seems. It seems like this maze of disappointments, heartache, turmoil, and you keep hoping God will provide clarity and give you the thing you desire most (mostly, marriage). You don’t want crazy weekends, you just want someone who will always be there for you. You want to admire and be admired; you want to encourage and be encouraged. You want someone to speak to you in a way that’s so much deeper than the way your friends speak to you.
For the most part, singleness feels like a black hole waiting to be filled with something that’s bigger and brighter and more adventurous than the ordinary life you live right now.
But, as Christians, I think we miss something that is vitally important.
God doesn’t see you as the single version of you. He doesn’t see you as someone who is a spouse-in-waiting. He sees you as you are right now. He sees you as a Christian. He sees you as being in Christ. This is the truth that needs to resonate through your heart and your life.
You’re the same Christian whether you’re single or married. You identify with Jesus, not your singleness. You’re a Christian who lives in the context of singleness, but is not bound by it. Your identity rests not in your relationship status with people, but in your relationship status with God through Christ: a status that promises to never change and is the anchor of the soul (Heb. 6).
The first thing we must do is rethink what singleness is. It’s the Christian life. Just as much as being a parent. Just as equal as being a husband or a wife. Just as much as being a college student or a senior citizen. A Christian’s life is not bound by the context they are in, but in the person they are in Jesus. Your identity as a Christian is not limited to what kind of position you hold in this earthly life, it’s discovered in the new person God has made you, a person who is more and more resembling His Son (Col. 3). It’s discovered in the endless love of God who has given you every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Eph. 1:3).
There is a difference between having life, and being alive. The Apostle Paul knew this well when he spoke of “being made alive together with Christ (Eph. 2:5)”- though all of us are born with breath in our lungs and a mind that perceives, we were not truly alive. We were dead. But, when the Holy Spirit regenerates a sinners heart, that sinners heart becomes a Christian’s heart. It becomes a place where Christ dwells through faith (Eph. 3), it becomes a home for the Spirit, who gives you the power to live as Christ, along with love, and a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7).
Far too often, I find myself staring at my life as if it were an incomplete canvas. I want this sense of admiration and affirmation that what I’m doing matters. But, what I’m doing right now matters because God is using me in any situation I am in to bring about His glory. I may not see it. I may not feel it. But, because I am in Christ, God accepts me (Rom. 3), God knows me (Gal. 4), and God guides me (Psalm 72).
Your life is not empty, God is working in it. So, why not enjoy this extraordinary singleness He’s given you?